We live in a world of liars, and I don't blame them.

If we build cultures where people don’t think they can be accepted in their full selves, they lie to hide the parts they think they have to. 

I grew up on lies. Lying to my teachers, the police, employers, security guards, partners, grandparents, landlords…

I recently heard Tyson Fury’s 12-year-old daughter say “Strict parents create sneaky children”.

And I completely agree (you can replace parents in that sentence with any authoritative or important figure in someone’s life). A strict society breeds behaviour that figures out ways to get around it.

So much of what I wanted to do when I was younger wasn’t legally or societally accepted, so I learned very quickly to lie to get away with things. This is one of the two main reasons I’ve identified as to why people lie:

1. To avoid punishment 

for themselves or others, can be physical/mental/emotional 

To avoid:

• systemic/legal punishments like imprisonment, community service, fines, detention, school suspension/exclusion

• physical harm from another (partner, parent, police etc)

• being criticised or reprimanded by parent / partner / friend etc 

• social rejection / bullying / the sensations of embarassment 

• someone else feeling hurt by the truth

• the loss of something we care about; job, relationship

• uncomfortable or awkward situations 

The second reason, (which I can also recognise in my past behaviour) is:

1. To obtain power over others

so that you can receive a reward otherwise not available

To receive:

• the feelings and benefits of admiration

• physical objects or services, for free or discounted

• money for your products or services

• the love and acceptance of another, as sexual or romantic partners, employers, friends or in a wider sense national or global political control

There must be countless more that I haven’t listed and equal amounts of nuances in each, 

But for simplicity's sake, I will move forward with these main two intentions.

The lying I refer to in the first part is about avoiding punishment.

We live in a world where we don’t agree to most of the rules around us, and likely we wouldn’t consent to a lot of them if we did have a choice. Most of us were born into family/religions/communities that impose their rules on us.

It’s much harder to choose to step out of the big daddy government group and I won’t get into the legal stuff as that’s a huge other world that I am not well equipped to speak on, so I will focus on what I see as ground level stuff: day to day stuff between adults.

So family/religion/communities tell us how we need to be, and for the sake of belonging, we often sacrifice our true desires, or we follow them and cover it up. 

Lack of transparency can create HUGE riffs in relationships. So much can be kept off the metaphorical table and it takes big, conscious steps if we want to change those communication patterns. 

As examples, through my experience working with married/coupled men, they don’t want to lie to their partners, the deceit is generally just a byproduct of them wanting to follow and fulfil their sexual desire, and thinking (probably quite rightly) that their partner wouldn’t understand or accept that they want to sleep or interact with other women.

A lot of these men also lie about/hide their kinks, because they think they will be punished by community/friends/family if they were to be open about it. This may look like shaming, expulsion, or being fired, and our systems are often wired toward avoiding these types of danger. 

But in more accepting cultures and ones that communicate consent and boundaries, these same actions of sleeping with someone that is not your partner, or playing out your sexual fetishes, are not wrong, sinful or badly consequential.

There becomes much less dishonesty - because there is no need for it.

When conversations have been had, and each person has been honest, you have a much clearer framework around what can happen, and what each person is okay with. 

How many people enter into a relationship and discuss what they will do if/when one of them feels desire for another person? If there is no clarity between the two people, inevitably there will be private fantasies in their heads or actual follow-throughs of ‘cheating’. This isn’t to say everyone should be polyamorous, I’m highlighting that the rigid expectations and lack of conversations are often what lead to the hiding of behaviours and actions. 

So is lying in itself “bad”, or is it a byproduct of restrictions placed upon us?

And what about in the case of the second intention: to obtain power over others?

Usually, the person with more power, is much less likely to be punished, (the policeman, the teacher, the multi-millionaire CEO).

So in a way, their accretion of power through lying, also helps them to avoid being punished, and just like the person in a less powerful position that lies to avoid punishment, it allows them to get away with continuing to do what they want.

Another example would be people pursuing younger partners who are easier to manipulate and unlikely to be aware of what is happening. They are choosing relationships that are less likely to result in them being punished.

So whether to avoid punishment or to obtain power over others, the core of it is being able to do what we want. 

Doing what we want can be obnoxious, can be addictive, and a case of instant gratification.
But it can also be a wild and liberated energy which I see is largely innate for us as human beings. 
It can come from a place of greed, selfishness and egoic desires.
Or it can be soulfully led, by a deep desire to be our unbound, authentic selves.

*

Like most things, it is up to us which parts we are letting rule the show.

In a society that is filled with SO many rules, regulations, laws and agreements, it’s understandable why so many of us lie so much - just so that we can express ourselves without unfair repercussions.

The more honest and accepting we can be with ourselves, the more we can find it in others, and receive it reciprocally.

The more open-minded we can be about our own decisions and others, the less dishonesty will accrue due to the strict holds we have around our humans.

If faced with another individual or group not accepting a behaviour of yours and feeling like you “have to lie”,

and if you find yourself punishing others, I ask you…

where are you not accepting of this desire/behaviour/action yourself?

what parts of you are creating this dissonance between what you want and what you think you should want?

where could you be more accepting and curious and less punishing of yourself or someone else?

what difference could an honest, transparent conversation make?

Thank you for reading.

Georgie x

Why I’m choosing not to lie to myself anymore by using people’s “preferred pronouns”

In my experience, it’s been quite a fast-moving change from pronouns not being ‘a thing’ to suddenly them being mentioned at the beginning of a lot of events I go to. 

• (quick tangent: mostly I’ve seen it in dance, theatre and sexuality spaces, which I find surprising as they are the places that I thought to be free-thinkers, but are the ones to govern their events the most. A lot of those spaces were also the ones that still demanded vaccines and covid tests throughout and way after covid was “over”. A lot of “progressive” thinking has become very conformative and strict in my opinion)

The seemingly fast progression means it can be easy to get swept up with how to act socially, and in all cases, it takes discernment to tune into what feels right for us.

So I was suddenly asked to say my pronouns in group introductions - this felt pointless to me, we would be lying if it wasn’t obvious what gender and sex I am - some might say this is my privilege as a gender-conforming person, or as a person who’s sex aligns with their gender, or something else - to me, it feels like a facade and a denial of my clear biology for the comfort of a small few.

(I once saw two people that identify as non-binary leave an event after one person spoke out that they weren’t sure why we have to do our pronouns - a valid response, that seemed to be too much for them)

If asked for my pronouns in group introductions, I just don’t say them, and sometimes someone will notice I didn’t say them and ask me directly, and I say succinctly, “I’m not giving my pronouns”. 

Similar to white people avoiding talking about racism or being shut down for having a view on it, I wondered what my view on pronouns, as a woman who identifies as a woman, matters. Well for a holistic conversation, I think it has to. The reason I feel such a strong urge to speak on it is that it is increasingly something that is affecting the spaces I am in, so I have investigated my view on it. Plus, I thoroughly enjoy writing down my views, even if just for me. 

And so I come to what was the tipping point of writing this letter. In a training I was on recently, someone messaged me to say ‘my pronouns are they/them’, as I’d referred to her as ‘she’ in my practice reflections.

I can understand why people want to be referred to in a certain way, 

But on an energetic level, it’s demanding that the people around you refer to you in the way that you see yourself, rather than the way that they see you. 

I used to be very polite and do my best to use people’s preferred pronouns, even reminding friends when they so-called ‘misgendered’ someone in a conversation (that they weren’t even in). 

And then I remembered, it is more important for me that my words align with my reality, 

Than my words aligning with your perception of yourself. 

If I see a man wearing a ‘she/her’ badge, I cannot pretend I see him as a woman. 

I am not willing to pretend that I see you as a she/he/they, if I do not. 

I believe that’s why even people that intend to use people’s preferred pronouns, OFTEN “slip up”, because their perception of you did not really change, they are just doing their best to use the words that you’ve asked for.

For me, pronouns are ways to refer to people’s sex, not their gender identity. That’s how I see the world, and if that doesn’t align with someone’s perception of themselves, I think that should be okay.

If someone read this post and commented, ‘what a bigot’, and I replied to say, ‘pardon, I identify as an empress, so you must refer to me that way’, you might agree that that sounds delusional and arrogant. We are all going to have different perceptions of each other, and that’s okay. 

I feel secure enough in who I am, that I don’t need others to refer to me in a particular way.

I don’t think I should need to adjust my expression or use of words to gratify someone else’s sense of identity. Being honest with myself is much more important to me than tip-toeing around with the fear of not offending someone. 

So I shared some of my thoughts with the person that messaged me, and not surprisingly, I got “mini-cancelled”. She said she was telling the teacher what I’d said, and won’t be replying to any more messages. 

I’m okay with that, but it’s also a stark realisation of so much of today’s culture - 

no space for conversation, 

no sign of a desire to understand or at least accept each other’s different worldviews,

running to tell authority how big and bad the other person is and avoiding the disagreement

She also mentioned, fair enough, that in our course agreements we agreed to use people’s preferred pronouns. I didn’t remember this. I must’ve politely conformed, and then over time, realised I will not sit with this dissonance inside me for someone else’s comfort. Agreements, like boundaries, like opinions, are allowed to change.

(She then ended the conversation with ‘hope you’re having a good day’ 

Which confused my simple, transparent communicator even more. 

Did she really hope I had a good day? I can’t imagine it was sincere, so why add some polite correctness to the end of what felt like a very dismissive message?)

I bring forward a real example not necessarily as specific to her, but as real-life examples of things that I see happening a lot these days. 

This is by no means saying that I don’t advocate for gender non-conformity and the dissolution of stereotypes. I think it is wonderful and necessary for any person to dress and behave and present themselves as they like. I’m all for authenticity whether that looks like men in dresses, men feeling more feminine or people being androgynous in personality and appearance. In my worldview, your gender has a much smaller effect on how I see you than your character and personality. If you want to refer to yourself with different pronouns, that’s also fine, just please don’t expect me to join in.

To me, it feels like it affirms stereotypes that if you don’t feel like a classic woman, then you must be non-binary. I can’t speak to people’s experiences, I’m just sharing my thoughts. To me, we as souls are all non-binary. I am simply female in this body I’m living life through right now. 

I am all for differing worldviews. I am here for challenging conversations, and I can certainly find acceptance for people with different opinions. For me, the politics of it doesn’t interfere too much with whether I get on with you as a person. 

What I am not for is my speech being governed, or being told I am whatever name under the sun if my words do not match someone’s chosen pronouns, or their opinions.

As my sense of self grows and feels more unshakeable, I am less fearful of what others may think. So if people hate on this post or on me, it might rock me a little, but I have come to my own grounded conclusions, after valuable introspection with myself and others, including conversations with people who don’t agree, to see where I stand afterwards. I’m stable enough in my own being to be okay with others’ differing responses and reactions. 

Ultimately, standing strong and being true with my word is much more important to me than the opinions of others, which is why I’m choosing not to lie to myself anymore by using people’s “preferred pronouns”.

Thank you for reading,

Georgie

Are you listening?

I’ve been thinking how LISTENING

(as an ALL sensory listening, encompassing physically feeling, seeing, smelling, internally observing, overlaps like felt flavours, sensed smells, and also extrasensory perceptions)

- overlapping semantically with PRESENCE leading to AWARENESS

is the key to most things that I do (well).

To act and make decisions aligned with truth, I must listen.

To learn from life’s unfolding around me, I must listen.

To touch another’s body in a profound way, I must listen.

To mentor and guide another through their own process, I must listen.

To hear messages and stories from sentient beings (animals, plants, body parts, ‘inanimate’ objects), I must listen.

To feel into the deep harmony with my environment, I must listen.

To create and make art and express, from places deep inside me, I must listen.

If you aren’t present, you may hear, but you can’t really listen.

To truly listen, you must be present.

To listen on all levels, to me, is deep awareness.

Observing the thoughts inside your head, noticing the patterns of things happening around you, giving yourself the space, to hear, to feel, to sense, giving others the greatest gift you can,

and what I believe most of us are so deeply yearning for,

is presence. To be seen without analysis, to be heard without apology, to be touched with no agenda.

I myself have been clogging my senses recently, like someone playing loud music at the beach when you just wanna listen to the waves,

this is a reminder to myself, the more we listen, the better we create. Like a seamless flow of water through silk,

life force flowing in around and out of us

A felt symbiosis

with the ever changing present moment.

3 way to write poetry that changes your life

Looking back over countless old notebooks never fails to amaze me how alchemical and life changing poetry can be...
especially when we get real honest with ourselves about the things inside.

Poetry has gifted me with voicing things that I didn’t feel safe conveying in more linear sentences like these ones.

Poetry opens streams for me to dig deeper into my own mind and all of it’s personalities.

Poetry shows me things I didn’t see before, and gives the stage for different parts of myself to come forward and share their side of the story.

Poetry brings me answers in times of confusion, it brings me solace in times of distress, and it brings me faith in times of apathy.

Even now, until I sat down and wrote this, I hadn’t brought my awareness to all the ways in which I’m so grateful to poetry.

Poems are a way of saying more, in less words. Of encapsulating an entire chapter, thread, or experience without being weighed down by the overthinking mind.

They can be kept on the back of receipts in the pocket of a pair of trousers you rarely wear, or they can spoken to the world on stages, or shared with a group that feels right for right now.

Everyone is a writer, everyone is a poet, and all of the words, at some point, want to be heard.

So here are just 3 ways that poetry can change your life…

1. Own your desires

make art from your longings,

voice what you are yearning for and

claim the innocent cravings inside your heart

fall in love with the having of desires, knowing that they will one day be fulfilled,

or write as if they have already landed in your lap

it's a co-creation of your very own Cinderella style fairytale, where we can decide if we live happily after all..

2. Unearth your hidden satisfaction

dig into your shadows and see how kinkily turned on you can get by the things that you think you don’t like about your self or your current experience

think you’re tired of being rejected, of being broke, or being tired?

see if you can make a poem of all the ways you secretly love it

bringing these pleasures for the things you think you're not enjoying to light is a potent way to let them be seen, from here you can consciously choose whether to change things

3. Indulge in gratitude

give your gratefulness more grace than just a list of things you’re happy about..

dance your words around all the ways you are so utterly in love with life and all that it is immersing you right now

open your heart to love, let your feelings ooze out onto the page and make beautiful art for the sake of art...

bathe in this heart expansive place because we can chase to change things all we want, meanwhile here and now is your access point to infinite love, where we can relish in the fullness of the moment.

HOW SELF PLEASURE HAS HELPED ME CHANGE MY ADDICTIVE TENDENCIES

When we’re addicted to something, it boils down to a fear of feeling. A fear that what we have to face if we cannot get our drugs/sex/money, will be far too overwhelming and intensely painful. This is completely understandable, which is why I think outlets like alcohol are a saviour to so many of us until we feel ready to face some of our inner demons. As destructive as addictions can be, they really are medicine from the fear of our own thoughts and feelings.

When I have a craving, for a cigarette let’s say, something changes in my body, tingling rises in my chest and throat, and my mind associates this with a deep longing to smoke. When I feel these sensations, I’ve mostly always hedonistically followed it by the fulfilment of this desire as sitting with the craving sensation seemed way too uncomfortable for my liking. This then strengthened the pathway between the sensations that my mind labelled ‘craving’ and the subsequent smoking of the cigarette.

So where can self-pleasure come into this? Self-pleasure for me is a practice of being with my body, witnessing the sensations that are alive in me and observing as they change throughout the body.

It’s going beyond labels of good and bad, beyond labels of what things mean (this feeling means I desire this, for example), it’s going beyond trying to change or run away from anything and finding safety within my own body and my confidence to feel into what arises.

Now when I notice a craving, to pick up my phone, to smoke, to get intoxicated, I can either consciously decide to do the thing, or I can decide to be with the sensations labelled cravings and observe them. Where can I feel it in my body, how does it transform when I introduce movement, touch, breath and the sound of my voice into the mix?

The more I can break the connection between the thoughts/feelings and the attainment of this desire, the stronger my willpower feels. I know I am making the choice. I know if I’m running away, it’s only sensations that I’m avoiding.

It is safe to feel. It is safe to express. It is safe to be.

Safety is something that can only be nurtured by you, not by any external circumstances or people. Safety is something that is cultivated within, with loving awareness into the depths of your own bodymind.

And this strong felt sense of safety and ability to face and sit with my sensations, is allowing me observe said cravings with love and maintain (most of the time) a strong awareness over what I decide to do.

Do you really want to let go of your addictions?

At the end of my Muay Thai training this morning I sat and realised, wow, this disciplined, wake up early to exercise aspect of me is back! I forgot her for a while. The part of me that loves to be really strong and move for hours each day.

Some chapters in my life I would MENTALLY TRY SO HARD to exercise more, but really I loved my lifestyle too much, I wasn't willing to embody that person! I would set myself up for failure by saying I want to do something I didn't really want to, and be left feeling unsatisfied and unworthy when the thing inevitably didn't get done.

After my session, I wrote this, it's a bit of a long read but I go into addictions, habits and change...

IF YOU WANT TO KICK A HABIT YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO LET GO OF WHO YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE

In my experience, the only time I’ve really truly made change in my life is when I’ve let go of or replaced an aspect of my identity AND made a physical shift in my day to day environment that is a visual reminder that I’m a different person to the one I was yesterday.

Our addictions can look like smoking, always running late, being lazy, sleeping with a lot of different people, exercising, (side note: I think all of these can also come in the form of consciously choosing) and they are so tied into the person we think we are, the person we want to be in the world, the person we are attached to being. We can get so fucking caught up in this representation and all of the routines and behaviours that come with it.

> It’s likely gonna be so much harder for you to stop drinking if your daily life still looks exactly the same. You’re running in the same character mode, whilst trying to make a huge shift in your life. You and your friends will equally be looking at you in the same way, as the same person you were, when you drunk.

If you want to stop drinking, you need to let go of everything you associate to being a ‘drinker’ and the part of you that wants to hold it as part of your identity.

OR accept that you’re not ready to give up that thing just yet and you still love it and cut yourself a whole lot of hassle of trying to give something up when really you don't want to!

..Really you enjoy working paycheck to paycheck because it’s in many ways easier than running a business or facing the shit inside of you that you have to commit to over and over again when you decide to work for yourself, as yourself. It keeps you connected to your friends who are on similar pay, it gives you something to moan about, it feels familiar.

..Really you love being the carefree, wild spirit, “time is an illusion” being, so you will end up being late over and over again even when you try not to be because you are so attached to those traits as a part of who you are!

..Really you love being lazy and unhealthy because it’s easy and it’s pleasurable and if you’re gonna do it, just do it! Just mope around and enjoy it! Cos one day you may be a super productive person that watches everything you put into your mouth and you will reminisce on those days how simple it all was!

And of course you don’t have to choose! You can put a different hat on every hour of the day. You can put them all on at once if you want! And there’s no need to show your 'best' self or your whole including entire life story self.

..No one needs to know that once you were the wildest party fairy when you say ’no’ to a beer.

..No one needs to know how funny and loving you usually are when you're blunt and uninterested to someone you just met.

..No one needs to know that you were vegan for 5 years when you eat a beefburger in front of them.

..No one needs to hear how you were once a body builder to make up for these days when you feel overweight.

No one needs to know and most of the time they don’t care!

> Let go of your identity, let go of the need to explain yourself, let it all go and see what comes back!

I spent so much of my life with conflicting thoughts giving myself a hard time after indulging in addictions, when really I could’ve just enjoyed the fuck out of them! Enjoy the drugs!!!! And by drugs I mean the class A’s but also the alcohol, the cigarettes, the chocolate, the sex, weekend benders, enjoy the escapes! If you’re gonna keep doing the things, at least give yourself the mental rest and just appreciate them before, during and after. Accept that this is where you’re at right now.

I never made any change by force. I would try to be more organised, try to be more disciplined, but really I still wanted to be my “in the flow, nothing matters” kind of vibe. I knew it wasn’t me (as none of it is), but I liked it. I wasn't ready for the identity shift then.

...Who am I? Who am I if I show up at a party and say I’m not drinking? Who am I if I follow through on the things I say I'm gonna do? Who am I if I put myself before you? Am I prepared to become this new person yet?

If you really, really want to change something habitual, I recommend making a physical change in your daily life. This can look like rearranging/redecorating your room or moving to another country, having a haircut, changing your morning routine or buying a new (second hand ;) ) outfit. It signifies change! Your body registers that there is something different about this day and with this change comes [insert new way of being here].

_ Addictions are such a huge part of my human experience, and all of them have only gone away when something inside has changed first. When I am truly ready to let go of the identity attached to this old habit, the addictive behaviour just stops! Most of it is just habitual behaviour. So just accept the way you are! Stop the resistance, stop the trying. Just fucking be with yourself and your addictions, enjoy them while they’re here, and when they’re ready, they’ll move on.

Space

Can we create space?

Or do we just re-discover it? Empty the bubbles?

When we make space within our bodies, the space was already there. It was just filled with an idea, a concept, a stagnant energy or belief system. The space becomes filled with what we believe to be true, to be ‘real’. A ‘bad shoulder’, ‘chronic migraines’. We have filled the bubbles with ideas that we carry as staples. ‘‘That’s just the way it is’’. Forgetting that behind these ideas we hold, is still empty space. Endless possibilities.

As soon as we choose a viewpoint on something, we’ve shut out what could be. As soon as we define something, as a tree for example, we shut down all other possibilities and probabilities of what that space could become. Our senses box it in as being solid, but science has proven that nothing is really solid. Everything is 99.99% empty space, until we rule out all other possibilities with our definitions of what we believe it to be.

When we knock the walls down, and empty the spaces, anything is possible. We create room to invite in new energy. The walls may go up again, the new idea turns into an idle idea, we replace it with a new ‘truth’. But what would happen if we kept these walls down? We can create a inward and outward flow of energy, an ever evolving space, creating room for whatever is needed in that moment.

Sometimes I try so hard to find the answers, to search for ‘the truth’. But when I remember to tune in, empty out, I allow room for new awareness to flow in. When I create room to receive, everything that I need flows in naturally. I allow everything I no longer need, to flow out.

If I try to force writing a post, I can get blocked. The walls are up, nothing new can enter. But when I go within, breathe, don’t try to do anything, just be, then new information and concepts flow. I act as a vessel that Source is using to communicate through.

A riverbank cannot create the water, but if the hollow bank is there, the water will flood through it naturally.

Check in daily. What walls do I have up? What static beliefs am I holding? How long have they been there? When was the last time I changed my mind about something? Saw it with a new pair of eyes? What happens when I allow myself to be an empty vessel for creativity to flow through? What can unfold when I truly allow anything to be possible?

5 ways to allow a free flow of energy in and out of your spaces

1. Move your body, dance, flow. Breathe into every cell of your body and feel the subtle movement as you inhale and exhale. Try to detach from your thoughts and focus of the sensations of your body within space. Visualise weightlessness. Instead of compressing into positions, breathe in, discover the space, and see how much deeper you can go.

2. Take a walk in nature. Try to be mindful of each step, go barefoot if you like. Tune into everything you are aware of, the sounds, the feelings, the breath. Let the sentient beings around you know that you are open to receive any wisdom they may like to share you. Forget you asked, go within, and see if anything comes up. Trust the process.

3. Give yourself time to create. Take a pencil, some paints, a musical instrument, anything, and with no plan, just see the paintbrush, the music, the writing leads you. Try to be completely open to the flow. What words have come? Images? Colours?

4. Refresh your emotions. When something triggers you, experience the emotion. After some time, breathe, refresh. Am I still angry? Or am I clinging on to it? Revelling in the past? If I break down the walls and empty the space again, what emotion now flows in? How do I feel now?

5. Find stillness and breathe. Meditation practice and breathwork are pretty much the essence of all of this. Breathe, feel the space in your body, the space in your mind, empty it all out, see what flows in, and empty it out again.

Weeds

Imagine your mind is a patch of soil. You are born, the soil has been cleared for your arrival, and underneath the surface billions of microorganisms are flowing, living, being.

Over the first years, our friends and family sow some of their favourite seeds, some seeds get blown over in the wind from our neighbours, and some may even get dropped from the sky by the patriarchy. Without you even doing anything, your patch is suddenly filled with plants.

But you’re young! You’re much too busy discovering the world and your self to tend to your garden, so the plants grow and grow, dropping their seeds, spreading and sending deeper roots year by year.

Then one stormy day, you stop for a moment. You take a look at your garden. You never knew any different, but as you become more aware of it, it’s pretty out of control. So you start to rip out the plants that are socially unacceptable, the ones you’ve been told you don’t want growing in your garden. The ones they call weeds.

After a long, hard graft, all the weeds are gone! You’re so happy. This is just how a garden is ‘supposed’ to look. You feel like you have control.

Until, inevitably, the weeds come back. They may never go away. But why, you question, are these plants shunned as weeds? They are cropping up naturally, and display such resilience and dynamism.

You breathe, and you remember.. the weeds are meant to be there too! and they’re actually some of the most medicinal plants out there. If you get to know them, they can offer you great healing and wisdom.

Just like plants, there are no good or bad thoughts or intentions. You do not control the thoughts that come into your awareness. What if we just observe without judgment? If we release the idea of duality, how can we learn to work with and accept all of our thoughts? What can we learn from those thoughts and emotions that we may feel we have to hide or get rid of? Anger, jealousy, insecurity.. They are just thoughts. If we delve into why they are coming up for us in each moment, we can unravel so much. It’s not about getting rid of the bad thoughts, it’s more getting to know them and accepting them for who they are.

Love your weeds! Explore your darkness! Who knows what magic they have to offer us…

4 steps to exploring your weeds…

1. Become very mindful of your thoughts. Set a mental or physical reminder to go off every 10/60/.. mins. What have I been thinking about this past hour? Where have my thoughts been? What can’t I stop thinking about?

2. Be observant. Every time your mind changes, what has happened? What has triggered you, got you angry, got you upset, got you happy? A strong emotion may come up when you experience something that is not in line with a belief system that you are attached to/identify with. Ask yourself, what is really going on here?

3. Step backwards into the awareness again, when anger/sadness/jealousy come up, how do you react to these emotions? Are you absorbed by them? Can you become aware of them?

   Sometimes we may get angry, and then resent ourselves afterwards. Or we may be ashamed about getting sad, and pretend we are fine.

   Are we letting our emotions come to the surface? Are we greeting them with open arms? How do we react to the emotions that arise?

4. Breathe deeply and go into your heart space/mindful state/inner guidance and invite in the emotion. You may ask the emotion; why it has come today? What can I learn from this? You may ask yourself; why have I reacted so strongly to this? Be open and see what comes up.